Pride in Liberation
By Ella Figueiredo
When I set out to think about what subject matter I wanted to tackle for my film I considered all the ways I wanted to challenge myself as not only an artist but as a human being. To me the essence of filmmaking has always been about engaging deeper with the human psyche and translating the very personal experiences of individuals.
Generally my work has engaged more with the obstacles that come with being a part of a marginalized community. I’ve focused on the complexities that more often than not paint a grim picture. Though I find the creation of this kind of work to be imperative in the fight for justice and equality, after participating in two days of film labs with VJS and hearing from all the mentors I recognized the importance in making work that speaks to the joy experienced by marginalized individuals and communities. Furthermore I recognized how little representation of this joy is out there. I knew it was something I wanted to explore within my piece.
Immediately I considered the joy involved with becoming liberated; specifically with queer liberation. I came out to my family about a year ago and though it took 26 years of my life for me to feel comfortable with coming out I could reflect on how empowering it felt to say the words, to know that I wouldn’t have to hide in my own skin anymore. I wanted to know more about these very personal experiences being that every queer individual experiences liberation in their own way according to their own world.
My creative process for this piece differed from the rest of my work in the past in that I had to work extensively close with the individual whose experiences of queer liberation I would be telling. Not only is the movement of the piece centered around Bianca’s journey but also the visual form, the narrated voiceover and the score. After multiple vulnerable conversations we began to write the narration for the piece together and countless drafts later we felt we had translated Bianca’s journey. The process of writing was cathartic, we’d find similarities in our experiences and we’d reflect on what it meant and how it felt.
After writing for the piece we set out to shoot. The first day we shot happened to be the day after the most critical election in American history and with the results still pending you could feel everybody’s anxiety was high. Myself included. We shot sunrise on the beach and before beginning I found myself allowing this anxiety to doubt my vision. I couldn’t bring myself to focus but after a quick grounding I came back into myself and remembered the importance of sharing this journey, of fighting through the anxiety to uplift an experience the world needs to hear more of and of being lucky enough to have the opportunity to make films let alone a film for the queer community. I reminisced on how often queer BIPOC voices and experiences had been silenced in the past and channeled my own liberation to fight through any anxieties getting in my way of accomplishing this film.
I brought this same energy into the editing bay, silencing all the external occurrences to hone in on the heart of Bianca’s journey to liberation. As I hit export on the final edit of the film I felt gratitude and pride. It is my hope that I can continue on this series of personal liberation, to create raw/vulnerable films for queer individuals to share similarities and dissimilarities over their remarkable journeys.